Thursday, April 10, 2008

I heart Portland

I stole this from my friend Rose.
Portland has more bumper stickers per capita than anywhere else in America.

We have some of the funniest bumper stickers too:
Legalize Tofu
What would Scooby do?
WWXD? (what would Xena do?)
Stop continental drift.
My other car is a piece of crap, too.
No food with a face.
Vegetarians taste better.
Keep Portland weird.


We have our own food pyramid. At the bottom is espresso.

If you carry an umbrella, we know you're not local.

If you dye your hair, we know you're not local.

You'll think by looking at us that we are completely oblivious to the rain. We don't use umbrellas. We don't bother to put up our hoods. However, there's one clue that lets you know that we do notice whether or not it's raining. In the rain, we wear clogs. No rain? We wear sandals. It doesn't matter if it's January.

Portlanders love micro-brew beer. We don't really care what they taste like as long as they have interesting labels.

Portland is one of the few places in the world outside of France where you can take your dog to pubs.

Portland pre-schoolers play at indoor play park during the rainy seasons.

You may think that we're a bunch of tree huggers. But we know better. Them tree huggers live in Seattle.

We think valet parking is like bragging. It's just poor manners.

Portland is one of those few places in the world where real estate prices go up when there's a good independent coffee shop in the neighborhood. Starbucks doesn't cut it.

Portlanders are anti-chain. We like the little guy and we want to shop local. So local that we don't even want to shop outside our neighborhoods sometimes.

The most ordered beverage in Portland is a half caff, 16 oz, soy latte. Beware, if you say, half decaf, this will label you as a non-local.

At the Oregon zoo, Pachy, the senior elephant in residence gets a birthday party with his own birthday cake every year. The flavor? Carrot cake.

Beaverton is the city in Oregon where you're most likely to give birth on the way to the hospital cause you're stuck in traffic.

When in Beaverton, make sure that you get your vocabulary straight. You gotta called Nike's headquarters a "campus".

If you live in Lake Oswego, then chances are you're not a native Oregonian. You're likely to be from California or New York. That explains why real estate prices are higher here. Then again, so is the appreciation.

1 comment:

Arly said...

Oh Tiff this is TOO funny. I may print it out and give it to Sam. ;)