Sex is weird...the gender kind, not the heavy panting one

I recently have become interested in (thanks to a drudge article) transgender issues. The Drudge article was a short memo on a 6 year old boy who is dressing and living as a girl with the support of his family(I would use the preferred pronoun, but for sake of clarity I'll stick with their biological gender pronoun). The article mentioned a Barbara Walters special on 20/20 that had previously aired about Transgender Kids. I went home and youtubed that up, and proceeded to learn more about this 6 year old boy turned girl, a 10 year old boy turned girl, and a 17 year old girl turned boy.

It was fascinating. I mean here we have a two year old boy correcting his mother that he is a "good girl, not a good boy," and an 18-month old boy unsnapping his onesy to "make a dress." Each of the three children had been diagnosed with Gender Identity Disorder and, apparently, their brains really were the opposite gender of their bodies (or so the psychologists said).

I thought to myself, originally, that these parents were indulging a fantasy that every kid has. I know for me, I never wanted to be a girl as a kid. I didn't want to shave, I didn't want wear a bra, and I wanted nothing to do with periods, the color pink, or dolls. I wanted to be a boy. I wanted to be in boy scouts, I wanted to wear jeans, I wanted to be a cowboy and a soldier and play guns. With all this in mind I'm thinking these kids are just weird. This seemed, to me, to be a phase...but that's when one of the mothers made a comment that blew me away....

She said, "It is one thing for a boy to say I WANT to be girl, and quite another for them to say I AM a girl." Suddenly, the playing field changed. As a kid I never IDENTIFIED myself as male. I wanted to be male, and then I outgrew it and, now, could not imagine having to be a boy...yucky, I'm quite happy in my girl body. These kids actually BELIEVE themselves to be the opposite gender. One mother told the heartbreaking story of a her 10 year old son who, when she peaked in the bathroom while he was showering, held a washcloth over his privates while washing his hair with the other hand. It's as if a TEN YEAR OLD couldn't stand to see himself as a gender he didn't feel. That isn't learned behavior. No amount of bad parenting (and for the record these families seemed to fall within the normal range) or media can lead to that kind of behavior. I mean that is a child in torment. He's not doing it for show or attention, he really is that uncomfortable with himself as a boy.

I've been pondering this for about a week now, the moral and spiritual implications of transgender people. My natural instinct is to say it doesn't matter, that there is nothing wrong with being transgender. I just love loving and accepting. I'm also not convinced of absolute gender. On the other hand, I'm afraid. I'm afraid I'm wrong. I'm afraid my baby boy will tell me he is a girl. I'm afraid my child will become so miserable in his male body that he will become depressed, suicidal, and angry (the 10 year old boy was this way until his conservative parents allowed him to express himself as a girl). I'm pretty sure that if I had a son like that, I'd let him wear a dress. I just don't think I could watch him suffer.

Then again, these kids have a life of suffering ahead of them...classrooms, religion, small minds...our world just isn't nice to transgender people, probably cause we're scared. Maybe scared for good reason, but probably just scared cause their different. We're always afraid of people who are different. Navagating a fallen world is rough.

Gypsy on